Tomorrow, it will be one year since my Little Orphan Annie passed away.

About my Annie

I still miss her.
I haven't thought about getting another cat to bring into the family, and I still don't want to think about it.

My Duffy is my oldest. She's 17.

I keep wondering how long I have until I miss her, too.
And what part of me will pass away with her.

I also wonder why I love cats so much, because it still hurts that my youngest isn't coming out to see me, anymore.
It disturbs me, because I don't know if I could feel the same way for a person.

I hope so - I just don't know.
There's not really much I do know, today.

1. You can ONLY answer 'Yes' or 'No'.

2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone comments you and asks— and, believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming. Nothing is exactly as it seems.



Kissed any one of your LiveJournal friends? — no
Been arrested? — no
Kissed someone you didn't like? — yes
Slept in until 5 PM? — yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? — yes
Held a snake? — no
Ran a red light? — no
Been suspended from school? — yes
Experienced love at first sight? — no
Totaled your car in an accident? — no
Been fired from a job? — no
Fired somebody? — no
Sung karaoke? — no
Pointed a gun at someone? — no
Did something you told yourself you wouldn't? — yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? — yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? — yes
Kissed in the rain? — no
Had a close brush with death (your own)? — yes
Saw someone die? — no
Played Spin-the-Bottle? — no
Smoked a cigar? — yes
Sat on a rooftop? — yes
Smuggled something into another country? — no
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? — no
Broken a bone? — yes
Skipped school? — yes
Eaten a bug? — no
Sleepwalked? — yes
Walked on a moonlit beach? — no
Ridden a motorcycle? — no
Dumped someone? — yes
Forgotten your anniversary? —no
Lied to avoid a ticket? — no
Ridden in a helicopter? — no
Shaved your head? — no
Blacked out from drinking? — no
Played a prank on someone? — yes
Hit a home run? — no
Felt like killing someone? — yes
Cross-dressed? — no
Been falling-down drunk? — no
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? — no
Eaten snake? — no
Marched/Protested? — no
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? — no
Puked on an amusement ride? — no
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? — yes
Knitted? — yes
Been on TV? — no
Shot a gun? — yes
Skinny-dipped? — yes
Given someone stitches? — no
Eaten a whole habenero pepper? — yes
Ridden a surfboard? — no
Drunk straight from a liquor bottle? — no
Had surgery? — yes
Streaked? — no
Been taken by ambulance to a hospital? — yes
Tripped on mushrooms? — no
Passed out when NOT drinking? — no
Peed on a bush? — no
Donated Blood? — no
Grabbed electric fence? — no
Eaten alligator meat? -- yes
Eaten cheesecake? — yes
Killed an animal when not hunting? — no
Peed your pants in public? — no
Snuck into a movie without paying? - no
Written graffiti? — yes
Still love someone you shouldn't? — yes
Think about the future? — yes
Been in handcuffs? —no
Believe in love? — yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? — yes

Piece of garbage assholes....
Real nice of them to wait until I've made it have way through a show's run, before completely deleting it from the entire site. I've hated Youtube since Google took it over, but I still used it thinking that it was still worth it.
Now, I hope the whole damn place goes straight to hell.



This is the comment I added when I deleted my account there:
BTW - the cat videos had nothing to do with this. Just a memory of something Youtube pulled on Icanhascheeseburger.com (youtube killed their account because either someone clicked to flag them by accident, or to be stupid - youtube did no investigation until icanhascheeseburger fans complained, and I believe the site threatened legal action, but don't quote me on that because it's only a rumor).

You have no idea what you're doing.
You delete uploads that get great ratings, and leave those with low ratings on forever.
You don't give a damn about the people on here, or the types of videos uploaded.
You've deleted accounts that had nothing but cat videos, for pete's sake. Don't you even bother to check to see if people were reported out of spite in those cases? Or do you just use your mouse, and click delete without bothering to act like you have brains? As many vids as there are on here that I enjoy, I can't stay a member while you people completely screw this site up. Frankly, I hope it completely fails on you, and you end up owing more than you ever have in the past. Do everyone on here a favor - take that mouse you use to click Delete with, and find another place to put it.

.

Tags: (Since LJ won't stop cutting them off below - check it out and see which words are missing - is there a word count issue, or did LJ just program in phrases not be be included?)
youtube, site owners need to be castrated and fed to hungry mountain lions, pissed, assholes

.


.





You can read the story about it here on Yahoo:
http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/92634/?fp=1

...this is funny as hell, LOL.


Pickle Surprise!





.

I have really not felt like myself lately.

I don't know if it's because getting ready to move again is causing stress I'm not recognizing; if the aniversary of losing Annie is next month, and it's starting to hit me early; if I've been coming down with something for the past 2 weeks that hasn't materialized completely yet; or if I'm too in-tune with the extremely changable weather we've been having... but I just don't feel right.

It's like I'm on the verge of diabetic shock all the time... that muddy head, confused, too easily bothered by everything kind of feeling.

Just can't seem to shake it (even after eating, so it's not my hypoglycemia).

Whatever it is, I hope it passes soon. It's making feel like I'm going nuts - and, not the good, salty Planters kind, either.

Anyone else feeling weird lately? Let me know. Be nice to know I'm not the only one.
If I am, maybe it's time to call the mother ship to take me back to planet Gljksafg for a while - these hoomens worlds is getting toos me.

....because I don't have much to say. Sorry.

* Second Life is going good. Met a lot of great people, and having a lot of fun.

* Moving in two months, but it's my choice, so it's not a big deal. Giving my notice during the last week of this month to let them know... and procrastinating on the packing, like usual.

* Been having hot and cold spells in the temperature around the area lately. It's dry and cold in the 50's today, when it was humid and hot in the upper 70's yesterday.

* Found out that Rome, NY, is the exact center of New York State, so when I say I'm in "Central NY", I'm actually telling the truth.

* Met a great guy on Second Life that I really like and would like to get to know a hell of a lot better... but we're not super-serious yet, so can't talk about it (Oh, yay! Secret romance!*sarcasm*).

* Have a sleep study in two weeks to find out why I can't fall asleep at night, and to see if I stop breathing (no freaking way I'm using a CPAP if I do - I can't fall asleep at all with anything touching or on my face... and I already have a hard enough time falling asleep as it is).

And, besides getting WAY too many calls about (1) car warrenties for a car I don't have, (2) my credit cards getting ready to expire (even though I've never had a credit card in my life), (3)a new one for health insurance "...for less than a hundred dollars a month!" that has called me twice in the past week, and (4) vacations I've won for an all expenses paid vacation for four to Disneyworld from contests and lotteries I've never entered; that's pretty much it.

Oh - I completely lost my username and password for my Missing Story Books site, so it's going to be down (probably) until I can find the name and pswrd. Sorry if you were trying to access it. Just don't have any control over it, literally, right now. I'll let you know in a post when it's running again, though.

Again; Sorry.

I just recieved a call from an unidentified source informing me of a "Tea Party" happening across America, and telling me to "wake up".

Fortunately, I already know that this is in reference to a Republican attempt at screwing with the presidency of our President Obama.

I don't know if this call is being placed across the country, or if it's being place by the same number, but if you get a call from this number = 1-210-892-1132 = report it immediately as anything other than helpful.
If you have to, and it's available in your area, do "*69" to get the number, writing down the time and date of the call.

The call I recieved started with a man's voice saying "America..."

BTW - the repubes don't seem to have a clue what teabagging actually is. If you know any of them, kindly inform them what the term really means, that they are encouraging homosexual behavior (will will completely freak them out), and that they are idots.

This concludes today's public service announcement.
Thank you.

This is what my report said on a whose-calling-me website:

Just recieved a call from this number at 10:23am. A man's voice came on telling me about a tea party happening across the county, and telling me to wake up. This is a political call - a republican attempt at trying to influence the Obama administration. How do I know that? Google "tea party -revolutionary", and you'll be able to find it yourself. I don't appreciate political calls, especially when they don't even bother to tell me that it's political, so I have to find out on my own. This guy needs to stop being an idiot. BTW - "tea bagging" as the republican party is using, is a term refering to a homosexual act, and is an encouragement to homosexual activity. Just thought anyone out there reading this who is encouraging this crap should know ;-)

***Edit

I tried to refind the site I placed that comment on. Of sourse, I wasn't smart enough to save it. And, as luck would have it, I can't find it again. If anyone sees that comment, please give me the address so I can let others know. Thanks.

Is anyone reading this on Second Life?

If you don't know what that is, then (as far as you're concerned, lol), it's a type of rpg where the main mode of transport is flight (hence, the little excerpt from Miss Mary mack in the subject line).

I turn 7 days old on it, by the time you read this.

If anyone is on it (especially anyone on my friends list), let me know. I could use some SL friends who can fill me in on some things.

BTW, all comments on this post are going to be screened. So, if you're a SL'er, and you wouldn't mind helping me out, let me know who you are there, then tell me not to publish your comment if you don't want others to know who you are.


Also... I've said it before, but if I'm missing anyone's birthday, or going to be, please let me know. I don't check the profiles very often, so I don't keep track very well.

Thanks.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

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I'm thinking about starting an audio pod cast.

Mostly advice.
Words To The Wise... Household Tips... Crap I can't seem to do for myself, but everybody else should do ( jk ).
Just things in general that somebody, somewhere might be interested in.

I'm looking to make some short, freebie downloads for people for a public page, but charge a subscription for the more in-depth kind of stuff, and a charge for any specific requests if I go that route (might not, but I want to keep it as an option, since I'll be giving advice).

So, I'm asking anyone who has ever been involved in podcasting - If you had/have any advice for a noobie to the podcasting world, what would it be?

Well, that one's for anyone else reading this. This one's for me:

HAAAALP!!!1!... please. The lolcats in my head would appreciate it very much :-)

Also, if anyone uses Clickbank, since I'd probably go that route to accept payments, any help you could give me there would be appreciated, too.


.

1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random” or go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random.
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to "Random quotations" or go to http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3.
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or go to http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days.
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop, paint, or similar to put it all together.




Nightrise: you haven't a chance


I went with the third image going down, instead of left-to-right. Hope that's not cheating 8-O

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In other news....

I haven't spoken to my sister since Thursday. She's not the kind of person you can call after something like that. She has to call you, or she'll take advantage of your "weakness", which is what her ego sees it as.
Just wish that ego didn't run in the family.

Our mother, our aunt, and nearly every one born from our grandmother's first marriage is like that... including me. I just didn't have the family influence to reinforce it.
It's still there, though. Like the monster in the closet... you can't see it, but you know it's waiting to open the door and attack you if the covers aren't over your head.

As soon as they figure out how to remove specific genetic material, someone please let me know. I want this full-of-crap one gone.

Yes, it's my sister's age, as well. Everyone goes through that "I'm better than you" phase at some point in their twenties.
But, if the other relatives are any indication, it doesn't get any better with age. Just more pathetic.

And, yes, the guys are affected, too... from what some in my family have filled me in on.
Lot's of drinking (addiction problems to the 50th power, which is probably why I still smoke).
Lots of fights.
I'd be willing to bet lots of jail time.

I've always felt that, if I ever started drinking, I wouldn't stop. Now I know why... because I'd end up just like them.
It doesn't help that the only alcohol I've ever tried, and liked, was the hard stuff; and I've seriously been craving whiskey... a little more than the desert craves the rain.

I'm not going to buy any (mainly because I don't have enough money to blow on it right now), but I sure's hell want to.
I REALLY freakin' want to.


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If only it were that easy....

My sister's graduation from her dental assisting class was yesterday. Her father was there (we only share a mother), along with the guy (I can't remember who off hand) that drove him to get there.
The sister from her father and another woman was there, with that sister's boyfriend, and their two daughters.
And, my nephew and I were there... my sis drove us.

I thought the graduation itself was beautiful.


Until a few hours afterward.


To begin, she asked me to take pics of the whole thing with her new digital camera, that I have absolutely no experience with. Much blurriness. Much bad lighting. A few good pics of her, but many bad in general.
Why did I accept doing it? Because my sister asked me too, and I'm trying to make her happy. And, I did the best I could.
Of course, that didn't stop her from giving me that "you're a complete ass-I'm so disappointed" sigh every time she looked at the blurred pics when the ceremony was over... oh, and telling me that I took pics of people she didn't care about.

Nice sis. Ya' could have told me who to try to get pics of before the whole thing started, but....


Next, in the truck, getting ready to go somewhere to eat after the grad, she says that everyone is so damn grouchy, or grumpy, or angry. What ever word she used at the time... I don't really remember.

The problem with that?
She was the only one in a bad mood.
Her sister was tired and didn't feel well. One of that sister' little girls wasn't feeling good either. They were sick. That's it.
No one was angry... or grouchy... or whatever... accept my sister, herself.


The dinner at a restaurant after was good, until the check came. My sister had told the staff that she would take care of the bill.
Her father and his friend ordered two beers each. Including food, the totals for each of them was around $18 ($36 total). They gave my sister a twenty-dollar bill each ($40 total) to cover their share.
When she, my nephew, and I got into the truck to leave, she did much more than complain about the beers they drank, because the beer was "...the most expensive thing on the menu (her words)."

Ya... um... didn't your father and his friend pay you more than their totals were worth? When they passed the twenties to you, directly in front of me, I could have sworn that they did pay for it... but, okay. I must be hallucinating.


Throughout the entire time, from the beginning of her graduation, my sister did nothing but complain about no one being there, and how crappy it was, and how her high school graduation was just like that... and... oh my fragging gosh!

I couldn't even go to my high school graduation.
I didn't have family in my life at all during my high school graduation.

I couldn't even get the cap and gown I had paid for, because since I couldn't make it, they were resold with a no refund policy, and I'm lucky that I was able to have my diploma sent to me for my graduation!

But, sure sis. Even though there were people that cared about you who made it to each of the graduations you had, there was no one there, and they both sucked.


And, those were the the good points for yesterday.


On the drive home, my sis and I got into our first major brother-sister fight since being in each other's lives again.
Don't worry... the only things I'll say about it is that, she tried to be a spoiled brat toward me, and there was no way in hell that I was going to going to let her walk all over me like I was one of her ex-boyfriends.

Well, okay... one more thing about it. Since we've been back in each other's lives, she's told me over and over, in great detail, how she's helped to end her past boyfriend-girlfriend relationships by acting spoiled, and giving orders. That is what she tried to do with me.

My sister has the attitude of a spoiled brat. I just didn't know how much of one until last night.

Of course, we made up before getting into Rome. At least, I thought so, after she called me to tell me she got home safely, and swore to call me today so we could talk about things.

It's three minutes 'till midnight as I'm typing this sentence. She hasn't called yet. You don't have to work in a nuclear lab to figure out why.

Of course, when she does finally call, she'll act like it was no big deal, which it honestly wasn't. Brother's and sisters argue sometimes. That's just what happens once in a while.

But, in reality, she'll be hating the hell out of me because I dared to stand up to her, and try to make her fell like she did something wrong.

How do I know the way she's going to feel?

Because my sister, emotionally and mentally, is where I was eight years ago, in nearly every way.

Every time I look at her, I remember and hate the person I used to be.
And I want to help her, so she doesn't have to go through the things I did, so badly that it hurts like hell.
But there's not a damn thing I can do. Because, until she understands that it's her that needs to change, and not the rest of the world, there's no hope that she'll actually realize that she could use the help.
And, until she actually, and fully, understands that there's not a single person on this planet that was put here to make her happy, but that there will always be people around to give her real help when she needs it, no one will ever be able to.
Because I was exactly the same way.

I started typing this because I felt angry, and needed to vent someplace. Now, I think I really just want to cry.

-----

After going back to spell check, it's now about half-passed midnight, for anyone paying attention to when I state the time... so all this, now, happened two days ago.
I really need to go back to using Firefox to post. IE doesn't have the built in spell checker that I like to use... freakin' piece of < incoherent swearing under breath >.

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....So, I went to the bank to use their atm a few days ago, like I've done at least once a month since opening my account.
I slid my card through the reader, and typed in my pin. then, I couldn't do anything.

There was nothing wrong with my card at all. The ATM machine had new command options.

So, okay. No big deal. I went up to the counter, and got someone to help.
As this nice woman is helping me, I start asking her when they changed the ATM's programming.

Her reply: "Oh, it's always been like this."
Me: 8-O
Her: |:-I
Me: "I honestly don't think so. I've used this machine before, and these options are new."
Her: "No, no. Maybe you just got confused."
Me: "well, I use this pretty much every month, and this is definitely different."
Her: >:-I
Me: "They (whomever decides the programming for ATMs) must have done something, I think."
Her: "Well, maybe..." < walks away shaking her head >

Later, I get home. The bank has sent many of it's customers new ATM cards, after having a possible security breach. I'm one of the ones who received a new one.
So, I call the banks automated line, and try to change the pin number, which I have done with every card I've ever received from them.

The automated line says that my pin is invalid.

Today, I call the bank and speak with a representative.
She informs me that the pin used to access my account through their automated teller is specifically for my bank account, and that the only way to change my card's pin is to come into the bank, and have them scan the card in a special system to reprogram it.

Me: 8-O

I try to explain to her that I've been able to change my cards pin with the auto-teller with every card this bank has given me.

Rep: "No...you must be thinking of another bank you used to be with."

I've have three cards, not counting this new one, at this bank. I've never had a problem with the ATM's choices, and I've been able to change my PIN numbers through the auto-teller each and every time.

Here's the thing...when I was in the bank explaining how something had changed, I saw another bank customer nodding his head when I spoke, and shaking his head when the nice, helper-lady told me I was wrong.

Me thinks something be rotten in Denmark.
And, screwed up at Rome Savings Bank, too.
Is there something going on that they're not telling their customers about, or did reality take a jump to the left, a step to the right, and forget to tell me it was doing the 'Time Warp' again?

-----
In other news....

My sister's been taking classes to become a dental assistant, and her graduation is tomorrow (the 12th, if you're reading this late).
Yay, Sis!
She'll be picking me up sometime tomorrow, after picking up her father, to go to the grad ceremony.
As a grad gift, I'm buying her some Dentyne. Fitting, no?

more animals

My allergies have been driving me nuts lately. Lots of sneezing. Lots of coughing. Lots of nasally stuff that I'm not getting into.
I didn't think spring was coming this early. If I'd realized it, I would have stocked up on tissues and nasonex. And shaved the cats.

Er... ok, maybe not shaved the cats, but you get my drift.

-----

In other news...

Dr. Phil has been interviewing people involved with the octuplets.
Frankly, I really don't care. If she wants to have a thousand babies, I say let her. It'll be a great way to teach kids about the dangers of being stupid.

Normally, I really wish they'd pull Wanna-be-a-Doctor Phil off the air. I can't stand him. But, I somehow agree with him about this. It is completely irresponsible to use fertility treatments to try to have more children, when a couple is struggling to care for the children they already have. Even if she'd only had one more child out of this... Why? They already had four that they could barely afford, and could barely make room for.
If she were a foster or adoptive mother, her children would have been taken away a long time ago.

Yes, I do believe that, when possible, children should be with their parents. But, there is a limit!
And, she wants all of them to come home with her!

Now, I'm one of those people who doesn't like abortion, so there's no way I'm going to say that she should have had one... or eight. But there are options. Having the children live with relatives. Giving one, or in this case, a few up for adoption.
But she doesn't want to.
How, exactly, does she think that she is going to be able to care for all of these children? Immaculate child rearing? Magic child raising beans?
Does she have a baby cabinet that's she's going to store them in, until she wants to show them off?

It's insane! It's just insane.

Now, is this old news? Well, by now, yes.
But, people are still talking about it.

Why?

If she'd actually had only one more child, none of us would care. It would still be idiotic, but no one would be thinking twice about it.
So, why are we so interested? Why am I?

I don't have an answer. Just an observation. It seems that we, as a poeple at large, only care about these things when there is a number larger than two or three involved, and only when the subjects on the news agenda become stale.
Is this one of those times? The election is over, and although President Obama seems to be trying to do a lot to change our government (for good or bad still waits to be seen), there's not much generally interesting there.

Our economy is pretty much down the drain, but we all know that.

That Nichole Smith girl is still dead, and Brittany hasn't screwed up lately.
Maybe the news is just a little slow, and we're a little bored. So, we latch onto something like this as though our lives were depending on the outcome.

I don't have a conclusion to this. I just wanted to have my say, before to octuplet mom outlives her fifteen minutes of fame.

Not surprised... just scared out of my wits!

I was surfing, and I came across this...

THEY'RE PUTTING CAMERAS INTO DTV CONVERTER BOXES!

A guy took apart his Magnavox DTV converter, and found a camera and microphone!
He says that he purchased the converter box at Wal-Mart.

You want to see for yourself? Click on the link.

CAMERA AND MIC IN DTV CONVERTER BOX!
-If you can't click on that, the addie is - http://www.wimp.com/spyfind/

Is this real?! Does anyone have any real news about this?!

I have a Tivax converter box. I'm unplugging it, getting out the tool box, taking the casing off and checking it out for myself. If I find something that isn't supposed to be there, I'm calling the ACLU and HRC and having them FILE THE BIGGEST LAW SUIT THE MAKERS OF THIS BOX HAVE EVER DEALT WITH on my behalf!

Can't find anything on the web to prove whether it's a hoax or not. I wonder if that means there might be something to it?

Don't know about anyone else, but if this is true (and, if I find one in my unit), I am going to be VERY freaked out... and pissed off.

If you take the casing off of your converter box, let me know if you find anything or not.
Hell, post about it on your blog, too. BTW - Get a vid of your doing it from start to finish, if you can.
Now's the time I wish I had a good cam, so I could tape me taking my converter apart. Be a lot easier to prove I didn't 'plant' something there if there's reason to go to court.

***Update***

Tivax is safe. Took the case off of my converter, and only found the IR. Nothing freaky, so I'm good.
Anybody else take their casing off to find out?

I've read of another instance where someone found a camera in a converter - another Magnavox model - but I can't remember where off hand. I'll try to find it, and post it when I do.

The last post turned out to be nothing.
After having the chance to think about it, I see it was just one of those weird, basement/lonely moments. Fortunately, it was transient.
The feelings were nothing more than my wondering 'what if?', and I am now back to my fine-being-by-myself...er...self.
No avoidance needed.

*****

In Other News....
~:~And, this actually IS news~:~

I found out that Lance, Inc., the company that makes the Lance variety of packaged snack crackers, is NOT part of any peanut butter recalls.

The Lance Inc. website is here:
www.lance.com

So, if you love those little peanut butter, cracker sandwiches, now you know that you can buy ones made by the Lance company, and not have to worry about it.

OH...and the Nutty Bars, made by 'Little Debbie' snack foods, are also safe (damn good thing, too, 'cause those are the only PB snacks I like).

Only Little Debbie's peanut butter 'TOASTY' and peanut butter 'CHEESE' sandwich crackers have been affected.

The 'Nutty Bars' come in a yellow box. They are rectangular wafers and peanut butter, covered in chocolate.
The Little Debbie peanut butter 'TOASTY', and peanut butter 'CHEESE', come in clear, shrink-wrapped packages. They are just square shaped, cracker sandwiches.
Just so you know the difference.


Again, all 'Lance Inc.' brand snacks are safe; and Nutty Bars, made by 'Little Debbie" brand snacks, are safe.

I was listening to The Carpenters, and playing spider solitaire about an hour ago, and I realized that I seem to have developed feelings for someone I've been good friends with for a while.

Normally, I'd basically be happy as hell. But, there's one itty...bitty, teeny...tiny little problem.

He's already taken, for quite a few years now. And the 'taker' is a good friend, too. I met them at the same time, actually.

I'm wondering if I should just avoid him (the taken one) for a while, until these feelings dissipate. Or, if I should tell him so he can let me know I'm an ass and that it'll never happen.
And, no, it will never happen.

I'm leaning toward option one, because I don't want to be that person that says something, and tries to get in the middle of two people (*cough* *home wrecker* *cough* *cough*)
I'm not that person. I never have been, and I never will be as long as I have any say in it.
No, I didn't need the "any say" part. That's just how serious I am about not turning into someone who does that kind of thing.

But, if I just avoid him, I know he'll get hurt, because he won't know why I'm doing it.

I can't just pretend that I don't feel anything - it's hard to be that good of an actor when your heart has a permanent spot on your sleeve - so not doing something isn't an option, because it'll show the next time I talk to, or see, him...and any time after.

And, if I do say something, there's the chance that his husbear will find out, and, of course, he'll be hurt (and, possibly pissed...I'm pretty sure I would be...or, I at least wouldn't want that person around anymore).

Now, if I were giving someone else advice, I'd say to tell him.
I'd say something like...
"It's better for him to know, so that he can make the decision. After all, he is the object of affection. Telling him will give him the opportunity to both put your mind at rest, one way or the other, and possibly make suggestions to help you get passed what you feel.
But, even if you do feel the need to avoid him, you have to let him know why before hand. More than likely, it won't change matters, but it will give you the chance to think these feelings through.
It will also let him know that you're feeling too close to him, and that your staying away will give you the chance to understand your emotions, so he won't be hurt by not having you in his life for a while."

Unfortunately, sometimes, taking your own advice can be the hardest thing you do.

It doesn't help that he's told me he wishes he'd met me twenty years ago (or so). I don't believe that it has anything to do with the husbear, though. Not by a long shot.
I think it's just our age difference-he's...just a bit older than me (and, let's let it stay at that for now).
^{Sometimes, I hate the fact that I like older guys. I guess old-souls like to stick together.}

I know he-and-me isn't going to happen, but beside the twenty-year thing, there were other things he told me that really make me wonder, now that I actually think about them. I'm not going into detail, but I'm thinking that they're at one of those relationship "hic-up" points. Probably just a little frustration going on.
Yeah...don't read too much into that. They've been together for a very long time (about 2/3 of my life, if that gives you any clue). A hic-up at this point isn't a window of hope for someone else.

Of course, right now, it probably (hopefully) too early to actually tell if I'm feeling something solid or not. It may just be a passing infatuation. That would be good. If so, then no damage done, and it'll probably be gone within the next week or so.

If not, I'm pretty much screwed.

I'm playing 'Born To Late', by the Poni Tails. It's on repeat. That's probably not helping any right now...but, at least it's a good song. The Carpenters were making me think/wonder too much...and that's not a good thing for me.

*****

In other news....

Well, there isn't much else. Just wanted to make a request.
I don't check user-info for people very often (I just never think of it), so I don't have a clue.
If I'm missing anyone's birthday, please let me know. And, If I already missed someone's birthday, please let me know that too so I can say I'm sorry, and give you a shout. Would really appreciate it.
Thanks.

First off, Happy [Belated] Birthday to spatts5! Sorry I missed posting a shout to you a few days ago. I just wasn't paying attention.


And, Secondly...


Since I didn't swear to not post a meme in my blog, I can do this < Nya-nya :-P >...

The first seven people to respond to this post will get something made by me.

But, here's how it works:

- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make. If you don't like it, let me know so I can email you the words "Bite me."
- What I create will be just for you. Sharing is over-rated.
- It'll be done this year. But, you won't know when during the year it will be done.
- You will not know what it will be. It may be a single line on a piece of paper; it may be a painting I do; it may be something I knit. It may be a poem, or it may be a sculpture made from kitty litter (though, probably not; but...). Commenter beware < BWA-HA-HA! >.
- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange (note the kitty litter thing above).
-Let me know in your comment if you're okay with giving me your mailing address in case I send something physical, because it probably won't fit through my ISP wires.

The catch is that if you sign up for me, you have to make the same offer (your choice of wording, things offered, and number of commenters to make the offer to) in your journal as well. Yes, I WILL be checking to see if you do it, too.

Act fast! Supplies are limited! Buy Super-....Oh...um, sorry. Been watching too many infomercials, lately.

Another disease outbreak connected to food. Salmonella in products containing peanut butter (just Google it for the news stories and recalls). Ice cream, crackers, and other products are affected...but, strangely, it hasn't been linked to actual jars of peanut butter (yet).

So far, from what I've read, this multi-state peanut butter or peanut butter flavor, salmonella outbreak comes from either the peanuts used, or the roasted peanuts used to make the flavoring.


Is it just me, or does it seem like we've been getting more and more of these food-based disease outbreaks since we start irradiating foods to kill germs (as well as ALL the nutrition the foods contain), instead of actually washing them?

Just a thought.


Oh, for those who don't know, if a food manufacturer/grower chooses to irradiate here in the states, they are no longer required by the government to wash produce before it's used. They can if they want to, but they don't have to. And, since not having to buy hygiene products saves money, my bet is that not a lot of "irradiation" growers are choosing to waste money on washing down their veggies.

Makes you wonder what's still on those products when they get canned, or mixed into the prepared foods you buy, huh?
Thinking something that's nasty and brown? It's a definite possibility. Sorry about the gross-out factor, but it's true.

Play it safe. Wash your canned foods (fruits and vegetables) when possible-including the ones sitting in your cupboards right now-before you eat them to help clear off what might still be there, even if you can't see it.
Don't like washing that much? Then start complaining, and demanding to know what foods are irradiated, and what foods aren't; because as it is right now, thanks to our FDA, no one who irradiates food has to tell you if they do, or if there's still literal crap and who knows what else on your food when you buy it.

Bon Appétit!